Get Your Lover Back

You got dumped.  Bummer.  The girl/guy of your dreams has decided that for some reason or another, you were not good enough.  We’ve all been there at some time or another, and yet, it never seems right or fair.  There are ways that you can redeem yourself, however; all you have to do is know how to play your cards right.  Be careful, though, as some crazy schemes to get your ex back may end up looking a bit desperate.  Here are a few ideas to get an ex back without looking desperate.

The first thing to remember is that you were attractive to this person at one point in time.  Try to recapture what it was they were attracted to in the first place.  Show that you are honestly interested in rekindling a relationship with that person.  This is difficult to do if the relationship ended particularly badly, but for the most part, simply contacting your ex some time after the breakup can open the doors to getting her/him back.

Don’t be too pushy.  Allow some time for your ex to get used to the idea.  If you push too hard to get back together, you could come off looking a bit too eager.  To get an ex back without looking desperate, you have got to give it some time and have patience.  One good way to do this would be to contact him or her and express an interest in getting past all the bad times and try to continue your relationship as friends.  This works on several levels; it allows you to reopen your relationship with this person so they can perhaps rediscover feelings for you and you can try out the relationship from another angle.  Perhaps with a little perspective, you will realize what went wrong the first time around.

Being clingy is a sure-fire way to ruin your chances to get an ex back.  As bad as it may sound, there’s a reason the relationship ended, and if you are too persistent, all you will do is remind him or her about what went wrong.  After a relationship ends, memories of it can often be painful and fresh.  It does you no good if you are a constant reminder of bad times.  Show your ex that you are capable of moving on with your life.  Get your own place, hang out with friends, and just be human again.  It may be difficult at first, but if you can’t show that you are capable on your own, rekindling a relationship with you will be last on his or her list.

Only after you have successfully re-opened the relationship, and only after, you can start the romance.  Again, don’t turn on the charm full blast right away.  Give it time and do little romantic things here and there from time to time.  Drop some hints that you’re interested, perhaps show him or her that you can have a good time without getting weird.  Let it develop and blossom naturally for best effectiveness.  Only you know this person well enough to know when the right time to do this is; if you don’t know this person well enough, perhaps you shouldn’t be attempting to get an ex back at this time.

It takes time, patience, and a little self-reflection, but it is possible to get an ex back without looking desperate. Allow your ex room to breath and make their own decision, but don’t give up all hope of success.  Wait a little while to reestablish contact, show some interest in changing yourself, and respect your ex’s personal space.  This is the only way to have a shot to get an ex back.