You had a great guy. You shared lovely relationship. Somewhere along the line, things went wrong and the relationship turned sour. You broke up. So the story ends there, right? Well, it should, except that you are still in love with that guy! You will do anything to get the guy back. But just “anything” won’t help you; you need a strategy to win him over.
Look back at your relationship objectively. What exactly went wrong? Was it completely the guy’s fault? As you think about this neutrally, you will realize that no one person can be blamed for the relationship coming to an end. Both of you had been at fault. Even if you take the most common reason for a breakup- infidelity, you will find that one person sought another person out of the relationship because his/her needs were not being met. Therefore the partner who was unfaithful is guilty but the partner who did not fulfill the other’s needs is not completely in the right either.
Now with a new perspective on things, you might be able to empathize with your guy a bit more. You can now put that episode behind you. Do not ever bring up the controversial issue up again; instead focus on starting your relationship on a clean slate.
If you were the person who caused the breakup, that is to say that if you were the guilty party- apologize. There is no ego in love. By saying you are sorry, you are becoming a better person. But just words are not enough. Don’t merely say it, mean it. Do not ever repeat the mistake again. Life rarely gives second chances; if you get yours, grab it with both your hands.
Now, put your pride aside and make a move. You might have to pursue him a bit but do not become a pain. If a person gets too clingy, they can get irritating. So, do maintain your dignity but at the same time let him know that you are still in love with him and want him back in your life. You should also show willingness to rectify whatever mistakes you made in the past and to forgive him for his. Do not let your conceit dominate your choices. Ask yourself, is he important to you or not?
Things might not become all hunky-dory immediately. Your guy had been hurt too, and hurt badly. He might not be able to fall back into the old relationship immediately. He can even suggest that both of you be just good friends. You will have to respect his decision. This could be the first step towards your relationship…or not. You never know. But you have to hold on to whatever that is offered or else you might never have him again.
There are chances that you could get a fresh lease on your relationship again and both of you will become a couple again, but it is also possible that he will not want to get back. After giving it your best shot, if you still face defeat, it is better to bow out gracefully. You will have to forget him. He was not the guy meant for your. With a world full of human beings and over half of the population being made of men, surely, you will be able to find someone who suits you just fine. Just move on.
