Can you identify if you are into a toxic relationship? If not, then beneath are some clues:
• You will be put down (verbally) by your partner in front of other people.
• Your partner’s actions will not reveal his or her fondness for you.
• Your partner tries to control you by checking your e-mails or turning up in places just to confirm if you are all right.
• Your partner does things in order to make you dependent on him or her.
• You change yourself in order to please your partner.
You feel sick whenever you are around toxic people? Then why do you end up being into a toxic relationship? A relationship where in you feel physically and emotionally harmed?
All toxic relationships follow a cycle. There is a honeymoon period which is followed by blow up and then reconciliation period and there after the cycle beings again. When you meet your partner for the first time you experience the honeymoon stage. It’s not until later that you start feeling you are into a toxic relationship and getting out of such relationship gets really difficult.
One of the reasons of toxic relationships is growing up in toxic homes. Due to this they behave in the same pattern as their childhood without actually realizing it. Others are of the opinion they don’t deserve any happiness whilst others enjoy just taking care of their partner.
However the first thing in order to get out and staying away from toxic relationships is to understand that you have choices. People staying in such relationships suffer from depression and have very low self esteem. Once you have realized that you have different choices, the next step should be to stand up for yourself. Often in toxic relationships, you start feeling that everything is your fault because of the way a toxic partner behaves. Once you start believing it’s your fault, It gets very difficult to walk away from such a relationship as well as implement ways to heal the relationship.
Many a times, group therapy helps a toxic relationship partner to get out of such relationship or find ways to heal them. There are many people who have been able to break free toxic relationships cycle. Some of them have left the relationship and have formed new and healthier relationships.
Many others have been able to take steps to renew their relationships and have stayed in it. However the truth is most of the toxic relationships have been saved. Some have been saved by giving space to the partners others by taking counseling. If both the partners make an effort then it’s definitely possible to make the relationship better and healthy.
The first thing you need to ask yourself is – do you want to make this relationship work or do you want to walk away from it?
You need to free yourself of the dependency level which is one of the main problems of a toxic relationship. It’s very important to emphasize your expectations from the relationship but at the same time do not nag your partner. You can simply say, “I want your support”,“ I want your opinion” or “I want your love”.
If you do not get what you need from the relationship, your partner should be aware that you will then walk away. Any healthy relationship is usually a 2 way street, however a toxic relationship have just one way street. You can make it into two way street, but in order to do that you need to do all the efforts.
